Troll Hat

What is it about making hats? It satisfies my soul 💚

This one is for wee baby Parker! We can’t wait to meet you September this year 😍

Life is just about the best drug available! 

It’s been too long. Returning is like a warm hug when you’ve been lost in the cold. 


Life, thank you. I’m not worthy but I’ll sure as hell give it all. 💗

Silence : no Om

  
A space in my crazy life for enjoying silence. I like to call it the “Oscar Wilde” corner…you know…drink gin martinis and contemplate beauty. While in job limbo, I have had time to get domestic, clean up, decorate…my garden never looked better! I call it procrastination 😎

How does your garden grow? 

I’m guessing if you work and have kids, not too well! Now with my extra time life flourishes all around me and, if truth be told, it’s making me creative! Translation: I start a print-making art course on Friday! Six weeks of intensive print making!! It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but never had the time for, or money. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to finish my illustrations too. They’re constantly evolving and taking my writing in a different direction. I had no idea that writing a kids book would take soooooooooooo looooooooong! Actually the writing isn’t taking as long as the drawing. Illustrating is tough! Painting still life is easier by far!

Ok. You know what the irony is of creating a place to soak up silence? People (i.e. My family) are instantly drawn to it! Oh well, I think a place for cocktail hour might work better!

My cocktail creation (see….creativity!) 

Newfie Fog martini: 

2 shots of the best gin you can afford, a splash of Indian tonic, a dash or two of bitters, only a scant dash of sweet Italian Red vermouth “Rosso”, a twist (and a wee squeeze) of lime, and a wedge of watermelon on a toothpick to stir up the fog! 

Sip slowly, enjoy life, and share with someone who makes you laugh….until your stomach hurts! 

Lonely, again

This is an off beat topic for me, the loneliness yet never alone feeling. I’m sure many understand this emotion. However, I never felt at peace with it, until now. I live a life that thrusts this complex emotion, or perhaps situation is a better way of categorizing it, on me regularly.

So, I live half-a-world away from my family or anyone who knows me even remotely well, and there are moments in this foreign land when I desperately, and what I really mean is that I’m in a total despondent fog, need to hear a familiar voice or someone who understands what I’m saying, literally, and there’s no one I can find. Even if I could reach that someone familiar far, far away, now I stop and wait for these feelings to pass instead of calling or emailing. This is mostly because I know I won’t reach anyone, or I never get a reply etc…, and what good does it do anyway? I generally never feel much better and it gets worse the next time, especially if I can’t make contact. Plus, those familiar friends and family either worry about me or perhaps even avoid me next time!! I hope the latter is just my insecurity talking! Ha!!

Well, I’ve been in this “situation” for a few weeks now and I finally found peace. I read a blurb online about loneliness from someone who lost a spouse. The loneliness felt was a transforming force. It was changing the person to a better version of herself. Wow! Never saw that one coming!

It finally struck me, me = gobsmacked, it was absolutely true! Nearly 20 years in battle and I could surrender finally. Why? Loneliness was there to transform me (albeit farrrrrrrrr too slowly, I mean come on!!! 20 years!!!!!) and was never my enemy. Here’s why: I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my life. There aren’t many problems I can’t handle completely on my own – and with Grace; this, however, was a gift infertility gave to me; which is something else that brought loneliness my way. I don’t NEED anyone familiar, but it’s nice to have the option and, most importantly, I have learned how to let go of everything familiar and safe and to cry, and to be ok with that (humor goes a long way to assist with this one!)

The wall I was faced with, until now, was that I have children and a husband and so I’m never alone, but loneliness was my best friend. Now I see that my own joke is on me! Loneliness IS my best friend and has taught me well. So now I can say thank you loneliness for visiting me these past few weeks, oh and for the last 20 years. Ah, gratitude for that which is (was) absent, another lesson.

Back patted!! I’ve survived this lesson, and I look forward to future transformations that loneliness brings. Peace to you!

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Keep on moving!!!!

Invasion of the body scanners!

Hi all! Sorry for being a neglectful blogger. Life has gone from fast pace to warp speed.

We just returned from vacation! Had an awesome time seeing family and having fun! All was perfect until we had to face Hawaii’s airport security!!! The full body scanners!! I successfully avoided them with my toddler, but my husband and 14 year old child fell victim to this violation of human rights.

Not sure of their safety or effectiveness, highly controversial topics, but instinctually aware that they’re just wrong, I had to watch as my beloved family had to go through one. Nude images of my husband and child were on display for someone’s eyes! Not sure who’s eyes or how this “virtual strip search” of my child and husband protects us, I died a little as a mother and a human this day. I failed as a mother and as a human; I didn’t protect my family, my child and other fellow humans from being raped of their dignity and their rights. Child pornography is illegal but taking nude images of my 14 year old for air travel security purposes is ok? What’s gone wrong with these people???

Sadly, I won’t be traveling through the USA ever again, or for as long as there are regular use of these body scanners. And I mean ‘every’ person going through security that day was scanned!!! Minus myself with my 3 year old, but that will probably change soon too.

I’m glad to be in our house and we had the best vacation! Well…..minus our detour flying through the US.

Peace and love!!! Lord knows we need a ton of it!! XR